Joie de vivre !

The right knee is gingerly raised to give the necessary support, the left followed suit while the hands play their part in coming to the desired position. Even before they are set to move comes the collapse. Again flat on the floor, the head turns in right and left to see what has happened. After a second of recovery the whole cycle of the knees and hands coordination begins. They are back to the position, a second of no-motion and then all set for the movement. Collapse again!! The whole cycle is repeated. A minute of wavering and balance act, the limbs move again. Two to three steps forward and collapse greets them again. SIGH!! Repeat the whole process and this time the limbs move a little farther and a little further and a little further finally reaching the destination….

Are you already tired and bored to read this?? I am sure most of you are…but what about the one involved in the whole process?

…she finally lays her hands on her fave colorful toy which when pressed sings out lovely rhymes for her. She beats the toy in ecstasy, gives a squeak of victory and is engrossed watching the changing colors while listening to the rhymes. This is what makes the whole process an ‘Experience’.

Not a trace of boredom or tiresomeness is seen all along…what is the key? ‘Enthusiasm’ is my humble answer.

She creeps under the cot maybe to see why it’s dark there, slips under the computer table maybe to know what those black wires taste like, tries to grab every kitchen item and beats it to death on the floor like an acoustic expert studying some sound. Gosh!! Did I just hear a THUD?? To enthusiastically understand what this high-level stage is and what’s under it, Mugdha creeps vigorously to take a quick peek. And the inevitable happens :-(. A few seconds of loud cry is disturbed taking a definite end at the sight of her favourite toy and a tight hug from her mom. She is back to her enthusiastic world wondering who those two people staring at her are. Our reflections in the mirror excite her very much :-)

I go about diverse experiences everyday and I find each day with a baby is a new discovery, a new perspective and a new joy which can only be beaten by another joy brought about only by them. Call it whatever you want, the underlying secret is ‘Enthusiasm’. Babies are ‘Enthusiasm’ personified.

Whenever I am lost thoroughly enjoying her enthusiastic adventures, I wonder why is it that the elders the once children lost this very special quality as they grew. Even the most painful experience is forgotten by them once the enthusiasm of grabbing something takes over. While the kids learn stuff which makes them productive, constructive, positive and happy, we elders in the name of growing up also learnt clinging to unnecessary things for too long, having mood-offs on and off, seeing only the negatives, and wasting time on useless things. With depression, frustration and stress as our everyday visitors, time waste, mismanagement of things a daily routine, gossip and rumours as our food, we are just surviving and not ‘living’ life. While nature gives us every opportunity to learn, we are “grown up” and clever enough to ignore all of them.

I redirect my thoughts to my own life and think of all the lessons I have learnt. Apart from being good at academics, topping more than a few times in various competitions, I dabbled in painting, music, dance, shuttle and a host of things classified under “Hobbies/Interests”. Now when I am completely at home conveniently calling myself a “house-wife”, I ask myself why I have not pursued any of those gifts to become a master. The answer is obvious. My ‘enthusiasm’ to learn or pursue sometimes wavered, sometimes decreased and sometimes died off.

I don’t waste my time getting into the redundant regretting mode coz I know I still have that “one” thing in me which can make a difference – “Zest for life”. This undying zest for life in me is enough even if I have to begin my life all over again from this moment. Having a baby at home has only rejuvenated me and my zest for life just gets better by day :-)

What's in a Name?

Absurd ! In this age where name is considered the best and first gift of parents to their children asking such a question is ridiculous! Naming a baby has surely come of age. Gone are the days when children were named after their grandparents or respectable ancestors. Then came a stage where parents included their favourite God's name and after came a phase where parents added their ancestors' names and God's name as prefix which was to be shortened as V.B.S.S...etc to their choice of name. All these make sense to me. Naming your child with some logic and a meaning. And now comes a phase where "Naming" is considered a 'Fad', an attempt to show how differently parents can think and come up with a unique name. The craze to go in search of a different n unique name sometimes crosses all sensible limits to the extent of calling it ludicrous. But NO all these wont cut any ice with these parents. They leave no stone unturned to find a different sounding name and its absoultely OK if there is no rhyme or reason !

I have seen some of these searches ending at a very logical point but some have been utter flops. And what can sound unique to you may not actually be so. My friend named her son "Akshar". When I asked her why Akshar she said it was different. But when I told her that its not unique she admitted that four of her friends also named their sons with the same name. Alas ! She knew it after naming her son. Infact there was a phase wherein every other boy was named Akshar or Akshath or Akshit or Akshay. Add an "A" in the end and you get a girl's name. Another species who tried to sound different and unique went to all ridiculous horizons and came up with the name "Hasanthi". I must say they succeeded coz nobody would name their child Hasanthi. It means a "Fire Pot", in telugu "Kumpati" :O :O ! Disastrous choice I say ! One parent named their beautiful angel as "Swetha" but now that girl is far away from the meaning of her name. She is a dusky beauty :-). I was very fascinated with the name "Rishabh". When I shared the same with my "Operation Namakaranam" team (Yep! I had one who guided me to find an apt name) they rejected it outright. Rishabh, according to them, is an anglicised version of 'Vrshabh', meaning ox. Without even checking the veracity of their opinion I dropped it that second itself. I asked a girl who had a very beautiful name as to the background of that choice . She plainly told me that it was her grandmother who named her and she has no idea of the logic behind it...Pathetic...Grrrrrrr...!!

Well...yeah..I know what's on your mind now. I can already see your raised eye brows asking me how different I tried to be. I had learnt lessons from some of my friends' disasters and so when I started off had a clear idea of my criteria. My criteria was - 1) A sanskrit word 2) Not more than 2 to 3 letters (in telugu, I mean) 3) No too-old or too-posh sounding names pls 4) No Negativity 5) Should give an "Aaha nice" feel when we hear. If its a girl, it should definitely be one of those 'Amma vari names' from the Sahasranamam or Ashtothram. (Yep! I am very religious :-)) With this criteria, my team and me set out our journey ! Then began a series of discussions on some hundreds of names, their meanings, logics etc in some hundreds of gmail threads :D Oh, BTW, Phani was dead against at choosing the name before the baby was born. He feels he should see the baby, get inspired and name him/her accordingly.

One Friday before my delivery my mom suggested a name after her puja. She read it in her daily stothrams somewhere and was very impressed. I heard with a slight nod and said will consider. When our baby was born, I asked Phani if she has inspired him to choose a name and yes he came up with the same name which my mom said. Coincidence, I thought ! On one of those instances where I talk to my baby, I called out different names eagerly waiting to see to which name she responds. When I called out "that" name which my mom suggested before delivery and Phani after she was born, she instantly responded and screamed with joy. Done ! I took it as a happy acceptance and resolved to go ahead with 'that' name. {{If she has any complaints about her name in future, I shall show this as a proof :P}}

Today, June 21, 2010, amidst all her loved ones, our beautiful princess is named "MUGDHA", meaning a beautiful, young, innocent girl :-). Whether we chose an apt name or not, she grows up to her name or not is for us to wait and see...but as a parent I am pretty satisfied with our choice :)

Tons and tons of thanks to Kiran Anna, Sandeep and Mouli for all the help. Do check out Sandeep's excellent write-up on Namakaranam basics at Operation Namakaranam

So much for the happy ending..!!

Carpet area, 10ft space, Setbacks, Elevation, Amenities and lots of cash – if this set of words doesn’t ring any bell to you, then a warm welcome to a cold “Realty” world…a world of dreams, a world of sentiments, a world of hard money and quirky fate! This world simply survives on nurtured dreams and dies on shattered dreams!

Talking about dreams definitely reminds me of this concept called 'Dream House'. Be it a small space with a single roof or a palatial bungalow, it is called a 'Dream' house when you burn all your savings, have a loan which can only be cleared just before you retire and 'buy' this house which is your 'dream-come-true'. Today a lot of couples especially the newly-wed ones are scouting for a house to fulfill this dream. The moment they set out their journey to find rather buy a house, the novices in them dawn! The realty world to them is dizzying right from the vocab to the wierd ways in which the world runs !!

Dont know where to begin...why fear when Google is here! They take the internet's help as the very first step and begin their search. The internet shows wonders to them. Remember they are realty-illiterates and so they are trapped. They start making cold calls to builders who claim to promise the sky but in reality right from the area they claim to the quality everything seems skewed :(. If the builder says two minutes drive from the chowrasta, he actually means 2kms and more from that point. If he says the price quoted included all amenities, then all he means is just 'lift and car parking'. Dont get carried away by the word 'amenities' it means nothing you have imagined. Even if it includes a big list when you finally start living there you realise everything comes at an extra cost. The list of white lies continues...!! If you are looking for a Gated Community, then the word 'amenities' tantamounts atleast '4 lakhs' If the amount is less than that I bet he isn't offering any good amenities.

The builder is an expert in everything under the sun. He is a vaastu expert, teaching you new fundas of vaastu and justifying why that balcony had to be small or why the hall's shape looks weird, an expert fortune-teller predicting how the government can change in the next few days, how a new road can come, how this area can become a prime area..!! If one construction looks like a train compartment, the other one looks like a school building, the other a non-ventilated den with criss cross compound walls..PHEW!!!

The couples dont compromise in the beginning and keep rejecting every house for one reason or the other. Finally after screwing their countless weekends and their mental peace, they relook at their priorities and thus begin the 'Compromises'. Finally they do find one house and resolve to end their unending search after compromising here and there. They announce to the world that they finally bought a "house" conveniently ignoring the word 'dream'. The routine dialogues being - 'This house is just an investment', 'We had to compromise in the sft area or the distance from the road or look and feel etc', 'we will rent this out.' 'we still have a loong way to go...our dream house will be after 40'...etc etc....Most of the time your house doesnt come in the budget you have set.

Phani & me went around for two months and were almost fed up. When we first saw our future flat, both of us loved it ! But since it wasn't coming in our budget, we just 'wished' it was ours and left the place. From then which ever flat we saw we had unconsciously compared that flat with our future flat. After a couple of visits again and again to the place, a huge fight with the builder vowing never to come back to that place, we finally made it "Ours" :-)

This is just the first step of a series of mentally irritating things..a lot of pain in the form of registration, interiors, carpenters, electricians etc begins now. Do thank me Im sparing you all the painful details here :)

It takes a lot for this happy ending. Dont be surprised if you are acting like a wreck :P. But imagine spending time with your loved ones at a place which you call "Yours"....Bliss ! No wonder home is where the heart is.

PS : I wrote this one a year ago when we bought our flat in June 2009 but obviously it never saw the light of day. Thank you VasuGuns for taking me back to those memories and bringing this out of the shelves with your good news! Congratulations again :-)

Great Expectations !

Continuing the legacy of my coincidences with Vasudha, here I go writing about the great expectations we have when we are ‘expecting’ ! Sailing in the same ship and having reached the same port she crossed a few days ago I now completely understand and identify with every feeling and every sentiment she expressed. It feels so natural for us to feel the same vibes when we reach this particular stage of life what with the whole world and us acting so predictably when it comes to some ‘Great Expectations’.

Whoever must have coined the term “Expecting” to mean ‘to carry’ or ‘being pregnant’ must be repenting big time now. When it was actually meant to be ‘expecting a baby’, it is now seen as a saga of endless ‘expectations’ from a poor soul carrying another poor soul !

These great expectations usually begin with the world inquisitively enquiring about our gender preference of the baby. If you want a boy, they praise how nice it is to have a girl and vice-versa. And once the session on the gender is over it moves on to the looks of the baby. In my case, my world wants a Jr. Phani with those dimples, a cousin wants a Jr. Haritha with all that energy, yet another aunt comments about the dark complexion of the recent new-born of some relative and emphasises why I shouldnt be ignoring 'Saffron'. Another friend expects me to have lots of fruits so that the kid is chubby n smart. And how can I forget their predictions about our baby becoming an MBA like the mom or an M.Tech like the dad!!

I dint act any different. I had my share of expectations once the excitement of expecting began. I expected to have a boy who is fair n smart like his dad and active n talkative like his mom, tall like his mama and chripy like his pinnis. I expect him to grow up as the naughtiest kid breaking every object he can lay hands on, biting every hand that pinches his cheeks and hitting the moment people of my hate-list come closer :P !! There's more to this expectations list. I expected to have someone who goes to school without a tear, loses a pencil a day, opens the books only to tear away the pages, has a fight everyday with the big bad boys and has the guts to say NO to his teacher. Despite all this, he should be a true mamma's boy and a gud son to his mom! I expected to have a super whizkid who would be another Gates or an Amartya or an MS or a Leonardo or atleast our own Prabhu deva excelling in some field. If nothing happens he should atleast be an IITian like his dad :P. Phew !!

Now when I am entering the last month of my pregnancy, I look back at all of my great expectations with utter disbelief and laugh at myself. There is an eerie sense of calmness and stability and I am all emotional about the arriving bundle of joy. If only the world asked me to take 'Saffron' coz it acts as a good blood purifier, if only they advised to take lots of fruits coz they increase the body's resistance etc...the fact that they are linked to the baby's beauty and their expectations is very sad !

It is natural for us to expect the "best" possible outcome in whatever we do but now I feel its more important to smilingly accept any outcome as the "best" one ! Obviously, I cant expect to grow lillies by planting a rose plant :D

What if my baby expects to open his eyes to see an Aishwarya as her mom?!

I just pray that both of us accept the coming bundle without any expectations and with all his/her positives and negatives. His/her mere arrival itself should be a joy to us. I hope a day comes in future when people ask me if my child is an MBA or an M. Tech and I proudly say that he is following his heart, pursuing his dream and living life with passion. {Is this an expectation in itself by any chance? :O}