Seven Rupees is a BIG Deal..!!
2001 : On a sunny sunday morning I was busy running and catching an auto to rush to my CAT classes. I manage to find one, I get in and out of it in 5 mins. I give a 10 rupee note to the auto boy and he says "No change madam !! I will be around always, you can take the change some other time". I snapped "I am not around always. This is not where I belong to." My heart says "It's ok, no time, forget the change" but my mind (rather my ego) says "Seven rupees is a big deal...let him get a change!" Even before I decided whom to listen to, the auto boy vanished saying the same - "I will be around always, I WILL take the change some other time."
"Seven Rupees is a BIG deal" agreed both my heart and mind "But to HIM more than you" whisper they in unison! Lesson learnt.
But I have only Rs. 750/- !!
2006 : On a dark night around 8PM, I come out of the MMTS station to rush home. Suddenly from nowhere this family of 3 (mom, dad & son) ask me if I can understand Hindi. After my affirmation he goes on to say how he was trapped and brought here in the name of some work. He said he had no money to even go back and his kid hasnt eaten for the past three days.
All my past lessons wake up this time. I quickly ransack my handbag and find Rs. 750. With an upset and an even more touching tone I ask him - "But I have only Rs. 750/-, will that amount be sufficient to go back?" All he said was - "We will adjust, it’s ok." I give that money and have a peaceful sleep (Obviously, I helped a family go back home !!)
That my whole world made a huge hue and cry telling me I was fully taken for a ride and such sob stories are very common is something I would rather forget. After a couple of weeks, I find the same people telling the same story to other innocent prey !! On one side I hear some heavy things like "help the needy", "save one's life", "donations to victims", "social consciousness" et al. On the other side I also hear some loud things like "dont encourage begging", "Even if its a single rupee, fight for it as you have 'earned' it", "No free lunch" and all that jazz.
2001 : On a sunny sunday morning I was busy running and catching an auto to rush to my CAT classes. I manage to find one, I get in and out of it in 5 mins. I give a 10 rupee note to the auto boy and he says "No change madam !! I will be around always, you can take the change some other time". I snapped "I am not around always. This is not where I belong to." My heart says "It's ok, no time, forget the change" but my mind (rather my ego) says "Seven rupees is a big deal...let him get a change!" Even before I decided whom to listen to, the auto boy vanished saying the same - "I will be around always, I WILL take the change some other time."
"Seven Rupees is a BIG deal" agreed both my heart and mind "But to HIM more than you" whisper they in unison! Lesson learnt.
But I have only Rs. 750/- !!
2006 : On a dark night around 8PM, I come out of the MMTS station to rush home. Suddenly from nowhere this family of 3 (mom, dad & son) ask me if I can understand Hindi. After my affirmation he goes on to say how he was trapped and brought here in the name of some work. He said he had no money to even go back and his kid hasnt eaten for the past three days.
All my past lessons wake up this time. I quickly ransack my handbag and find Rs. 750. With an upset and an even more touching tone I ask him - "But I have only Rs. 750/-, will that amount be sufficient to go back?" All he said was - "We will adjust, it’s ok." I give that money and have a peaceful sleep (Obviously, I helped a family go back home !!)
That my whole world made a huge hue and cry telling me I was fully taken for a ride and such sob stories are very common is something I would rather forget. After a couple of weeks, I find the same people telling the same story to other innocent prey !! On one side I hear some heavy things like "help the needy", "save one's life", "donations to victims", "social consciousness" et al. On the other side I also hear some loud things like "dont encourage begging", "Even if its a single rupee, fight for it as you have 'earned' it", "No free lunch" and all that jazz.
I am left dazed and confused !
Conclusion : I havent yet been able to take a stand on this till date. The only solution I found relieving is to follow my instinct. If I feel like giving at that moment, I give; else I dont ! But I have made it a point not to give to men (adults) who look physically OK to me to work and earn. If you have a better idea to get me out of this catch-22 situation, you are more than welcome to share it with me :)
PS : Sincerely hoping I haven't ruffled any feathers by raising a socially controversial topic [:P]
Hi Haritha, good one agree with you often times kindness is taken for granted. But.then..you were relieved that you have helped a family you felt better at your heart that moment you lived this I opine is the essence of life do not think about the end reult you have helped with a good heart....that is all.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing :-)
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ReplyDeleteHeheheh
ReplyDeleteI have been in the same boat before. In my case it was 50 bucks, but I thought it was well spent.
The other incident, me being a foodie stepped out to get some noodles only to find a woman saying she needs money to go to her village. I wanted to give the money to her but 20 rupees aint gonna do the trick. Then came to mind what my dad did before, asked her to stay put - went home got some money, took her in an auto to the bus stand and said I will buy you a ticket to your place. As we stop at the bus stand the lady jus jumps out of the auto and walks away. Everytime I offer seat to an elderly I get those weird looks not only from fellow passengers but also from these elderly who I give my seat to. When I ask people if they need help carrying bags - once they actually replied 'do you wanna run away with them' I had was 'I am too lazy to run away'....anyway all this did not change my mind. I do help whenever and wherever I can.
Moral of the story: Dont let people's actions decide what your morals are.
Welcome to reality.com, if you really want to help there is a world you need to explore, gone are those days where we thought seeing is believing, my two year old son gives me a kick if i give him an emotional bait and tells me "Dad go tell your Mom". My elders use to tell me if you do charity dont let your left hand know what you gave with your right hand did, but today for what I do, I also get a 80D on my IT.
ReplyDeleteWell, what I meant is if you want your heart to somersault in joy, and you want to do things your way, explore the world which you havent seen. And i dont mean go change the world, make some adjustments go change yourself.. the world will still wait..
There are people who adopt villages, there are people who adopt kids, there are people who adopt pets, what have we done??????
Thought provoking!
ReplyDeleteSome say that we should just give away the money and should not worry about how they use it. But I feel using your instincts to distinguish between a genuine and a fake case is often better. Most of the times, I feel having some courage to question the beggar to find out the details helps a lot. Most of us shy away from doing this but if we can do this we can have a better insight into the problem.
Simple & nicely written post. Keep writing.
We are always taught to help needy people by our elders but when situations like such happen we are forced into a confused state whether what to believe and how to believe. Well in my view what you feel at that moment matters when you are not that good in identifying the realy needy ones and also dnt loose our morales.
ReplyDeletegood write up...
ReplyDeleteI feel we should follow our instincts... because many times we get duped....
We generally never encourage children, ladies carrying children ( people say they are not their own chidlren but use them for begging)...
Its all perception.. ur write up is good and to be given a thought.
Haritha, You raised a very important issue. I guess it is not enough to have a heart. We also need a mind. Giving charity may make us feel good temporarily but we also need to be critical about where we are putting our efforts. Is it going to bring a positive change or it is a temporary fix? When we give charity, we only do it to find our peace- well, that's not always a good reason to contribute to our society. We may feel good and satisfied, but that doesn't end the problem. We cannot be people with headless hearts any more.
ReplyDeletemy instinct says , do not encourage any begger who is <60age unless he/she is handicapped.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBeing charitable is one sided, I think it is our responsibility to make sure our efforts/gestures are not being misused. It is a complicated world where being conned in the name of charity/humanity should not deter one from being good. We should continue being socially responsible along with being sensible.
ReplyDeleteIn your example, instead of giving the money had you bought tickets you could have avoided the awkwardness.
Rather than an instinct, how about being sensible to make sure you are doing 'IT' right?
:)
Good one, follow the intution and also one great personality said, feeling of giving someting is not important , at the same time acceptor should have feeling of accepting. Intution (or instinct) helps to identify above.....
ReplyDeleteI just read some of your posts and they are quite interesting. Felt like commenting on this particular one. I try not to hand people money coz unfortunately we never know what they are using it for. If they are hungry I'll buy them food, if they have to go somewhere buy them a ticket, if its cold outside donate an old comforter etc.
ReplyDeleteOfcorz some situations warrant giving money and sometimes we do (although I dont anymore). But if it turns out that it was a fraud then you move on to the next one. An analogy (since you are pregnant!) would be - if our parents gave up on us when we tried to walk and fell the first few times... !